Resilience Begins With Listening, Not Labels
Young people need room to recover from setbacks and access to care when distress becomes more than a setback.
RAHMAT WIBOWO | 28 OCTOBER 2026
A friend receives a harsh comment and goes quiet. Calling them weak tells us little about what they are experiencing. A better first move is to ask whether they want to talk, and listen without rushing to judge.
Two different needs
Resilience is the capacity to respond and recover when things go wrong. It can be supported through practice, relationships, rest, and access to resources. A mental health condition, meanwhile, is not evidence of insufficient character or effort. Some people need professional care; a demand to “be tougher” cannot replace it.
The report behind this series discusses Indonesia's I-NAMHS survey of adolescents aged 10–17. It distinguishes reported mental health problems from conditions meeting diagnostic criteria. Those categories must not be collapsed into a single figure for depression, nor treated as proof that social media caused the difficulties. The report notes that its survey figures were taken from secondary coverage.
A pause before a response
When a rejection or criticism lands hard, try a short sequence: name what you feel; pause before replying; separate what was actually said from what you inferred; and decide what you want to communicate. A message can describe the facts, their impact, and a request. You can also decide that the next step is to ask for support.
This is a practical exercise, not a treatment or a promise that distress will disappear. People face different pressures and have different resources. We should not measure someone's courage by how silently they endure them.
How to be a better friend
Ask an open question, make space for the answer, and avoid turning the conversation into a lecture. Offer to accompany your friend to seek support if they want it. If distress persists or interferes with everyday life, a psychologist, doctor, or local health service can help assess what is needed.
The phrase “mental tempe” is sometimes used to shame people who struggle. We can discuss perseverance without making a person's pain an insult. On Youth Pledge Day, solidarity can begin with a conversation in which nobody needs to prove they are strong before being heard.
Source: Adapted from Menepati Janji di Zaman AI: Pesan untuk Pemuda, sections 4 and 8. For historical context, see Sukarno's 1966 speech. This article is general information, not a diagnosis.